


Streit

by kommandanthydra (lokatastrophe)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-29
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-16 12:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/862081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokatastrophe/pseuds/kommandanthydra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow, Schmidt has managed to capture the good Captain. He proceeds to explain to his archenemy exactly why he loathes him so. (Intended satirical tone and implied Winterskull. Written to exercise a stale muse so it's not intended to be serious in the least.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Streit

This was the final confrontation, as far as a confrontation between two immortal superhumans can be 'final' in any sense. The two enemies had pursued each other to the metaphorical ends of the earth, though neither of them ever attained the means to directly eliminate their counterpart. Yet somehow one of them, the villain, who possessed just the right amount of misanthropy and whose methods benefited from his lack of moral scruples, had gained the upper hand. At present he was standing above his archenemy who was prone on the floor, weakened by a special formula the villain had developed that was in theory similar to wildlife tranquilizer darts. That villain, whose name was Johann Schmidt, was refraining from the typical foot-on-the-enemy's-chest pose, because his foe was incapacitated enough already and also he had just had his boots cleaned. There was no sense in tainting them by contact with that American cloth.

Rogers, the fallen hero, stirred weakly and twitched. Then, in a spectacular show of bad judgment, he opened his mouth to speak. "Why?"

This question was much too ambiguous to require a correct response. Therefore, Schmidt answered with a cold glare that would convey his contempt more effectively than words ever could.

Rogers took the hint, if something so unsubtle can even be called a 'hint,' and tried again. "Why d'you do this?"

The supersoldier-tranquilizer was not supposed to affect the victim's mind to such an extent that he would be left devoid of sense. Johann's eyes narrowed as he prepared to have words with HYDRA's research staff. Then he realized that the tranquilizer had worked as planned, and the question was legitimate. He stifled a laugh.

"Your actions have consequences, Captain Rogers." He commented dryly. "Choosing to pursue HYDRA instead of the Nazis was a demonstration of pure and profound idiocy. It baffles me that I was ever Public Enemy Number One instead of Hitler, and it irritates me that I was not informed sooner. Had I known in the relevant time period, I might have added it to my résumé."

Rogers grumbled through a haze of tranquilizer. "You and Hitler were both threats. Think you were both Public Enemy Number One."

"Ah. I am glad to know that redefining the meaning of 'one' is among America's many feats." He did not wait for a response. "Why do I do 'this,' hm? What constitutes 'this'? Opposing you? Defeating you? I oppose you because you possess enough bravado to conclude that fighting me is a good idea. I defeat you because - allow me to be honest here, what advantage do I lack? For instance, I have far more experience in these matters. I am a trained military strategist who earned my rank. My title was not arbitrarily bestowed upon me." He couldn't resist that jab. "I wield more power than any mortal and some gods. I have fought this power and I have tamed it. I am worthy to wield the artifacts of legend." Meanwhile, a number of trained and armored HYDRA agents were tying up Steve with bonds that a supersoldier could not break (Johann had reluctantly volunteered to test these) and had now strapped the unfortunate Captain to a stretcher. As the Agents carried him towards a laboratory and research ward of the building, Johann followed and monologued as he walked. He was not just standing there, blathering while his archenemy lay unrestrained. That would be sloppy villainy. "I have defeated you because you lapsed in your vigilance. You took it for granted that your triumph was assured. I barely needed to work to provide the element of surprise. You allowed me to surprise you with my victory. Being underestimated is not so bad as one might think."

The overwhelming thought running through Steve's mind was Shut up. So he said it. This earned him a slap in the face from Johann, who looked barely perturbed. In fact, his smile hinted that he had been waiting to do that.

Rogers' next question was 'Why?' again, accompanied by a weak struggle against his restraints. Then he opened his mouth again, reaching formerly unplumbed depths of idiocy. "What'd I do to you? _You_ were the ones who attacked _us_!"

Rogers was, of course, referring to Kruger's attempt to seize Erskine's serum that had ended in at least two deaths. That had been a catastrophe, Johann knew that. However, he would always consider the SSR's response an overreaction. They ought to have collaborated with HYDRA to defeat the Nazis, but _no._ His brow furrowed for a moment in irritation. "You ask, what did you do to me?" His tone was tinged with sarcasm. "Would you like me to prepare a list for you?"

Steve was tired of that sarcasm. He groaned and shut his eyes, he'd break out later when Schmidt was distracted. "Yeah, why not?"

"Very well." Johann began to list the items, ticking them off on his fingers. They'd stopped in the laboratory area and the Captain was still securely restrained, so he spoke quite calmly. "The abridged list is somewhat more concise, as its name implies. I will provide you with a signed and notarized copy of the full list later, for you to peruse at your leisure. For now: you wasted your efforts trying to defeat my organization, you hindered our plans to destroy the Third Reich, you interfered with HYDRA's research, you indirectly led to my temporary absorption in the Tesseract, you caused me to waste a perfectly good Valkyrie plane, you damaged my mask, and you took my partner from me."

" _Partner?!_ " Steve was too busy boggling at the implications of that last statement to notice that he'd just had another tranquilizer syringe stuck into the back of his neck. This slurred his speech a bit but he continued onward anyway. His curiosity had gotten the better of him. "You got a dame or what? Must be a strange type, to put up with the--" He moved to gesture to his face, but his wrists were restrained-- "the Red Skull thing. What's she like?"

Johann responded, perfectly straight-faced. "He is exceptional."

" _He?!?!_ " Not that Steve had a problem with that, just that Nazis weren't too fond of that kind of thing, from what he'd heard, and... okay, that explained a lot. Well, damn. "He, huh? Okay, who was it?" His brain raced wildly with guesses. Took him. Who'd he take? "--oh Lord, was it Zola?"

Johann's lip curled in scorn. "That simpering ingrate? No, not _him_. He was neither loyal to HYDRA nor tolerable to look at." He stifled a shudder. "That suggestion is an insult."

God forbid Steve and Johann would ever agree on anything. Steve shut his eyes rather than directly respond. Okay, who in HYDRA was loyal and reasonably attractive? That Kruger guy? Yeah, he could see Johann going for Kruger. They were both crazy, after all. "Was it Kruger?"

"No." Johann was less offended by that choice. It would be difficult for anything to offend him more than the possibility of Zola being his partner. His arms were folded across his chest now, stern dissatisfaction displayed on his face. "It was not Kruger. Try again."

"Uhh." Steve muttered to himself. Couldn't possibly be in the SSR. Were there even any other eligible males around HYDRA during wartime?  Was it-- oh, no, that was worse. So much worse. "Listen, Schmidt, I know you got attached to the Tesseract and all that, but--"

" _NO!!_ " He hissed under his breath in aggravation, hands balling into fists. "How desperate do you think that I am, that I would take the Cube as some sort of mate? Its sentience is not exactly an ideal romantic partner." He drew a deep breath. The lab technicians were all studiously ignoring him. "You are limiting yourself by assuming an initial association with HYDRA."

Steve shook his head to try to clear his thoughts. Okay, no, that wasn't worth thinking about. "Do I even know this person?"

"Yes." For once a small smile crept across Schmidt's face. "During wartime, you knew one another quite well."

"Oh--" A glimmer of understanding dawned in Steve's mind, or so he thought. "When we met on the bridge you seemed kind of bitter about everything... Was it Erskine?"

"No." So close, and yet so far. A quiet sigh escaped Johann. "Tell me, what was Bucky like after he returned with you? Was he wistful? Did he seem distant?" His voice became quiet, the hard glimmer in his eyes fading softly. "You are lucky to have had him for so long."

Steve froze, caught in the awful implications of this realization, then thrashed around in a frantic attempt to free himself from his restraints. He ended up ripping the chair from the floor, but landed face-first and was unable to get up, and inched desperately towards the door in the fashion of a turtle. "No. It _can't_ be! Bucky wouldn't DO that!!" Would he? God damn that Schmidt. Bucky _had_ been wistful and distant and whatever adjectives he'd probably throw out next. He'd thought it was because of homesickness. How painfully ironic.

Johann strode towards Steve, wrenching him and the chair upright, and dragged the chair back to where it was supposed to be. A few lab technicians silently re-secured the contraption to the floor. Johann only spoke again once his archenemy was quiet, settled down in the chair with a look of quiet horror plastered on his features. "During the week of the 107th's captivity, Bucky and I became close. I am merely grateful that we have found each other again now." For once, there was no sarcasm. That mask had been peeled away, however briefly. "You took him from me and I allowed him to go. I have not forgiven myself for permitting this. Now he comes and goes at will, and he desires to stay with me. I am sorry that that displeases you."

Steve just grumbled. He didn't have anything more to say right now. Damn Schmidt, damn Bucky too-- how did Bucky fight alongside him to try to exterminate HYDRA, if he'd-- done things-- with HYDRA's leader?

Johann answered that without being asked. "He always cared about your welfare. He did not want me to harm you. I chose those specific bases because they would be easy for you to defeat. You would think you had eradicated all of HYDRA, and then Bucky and I could reunite later." He paced through the laboratory, boots clicking on the hard tile floor. "It was an excellent scheme. It did work, albeit belatedly. He and I are happy with one another and we are--" Mid-sentence, someone came over to inject Steve with a dose of a different tranquilizer that would knock him unconscious. He was only awake long enough to hear the last word, and he wished he hadn't. Schmidt's sly grin was too much to tolerate. "--Married."


End file.
